Venting

God is teaching me a lot lately. Isn't if funny how we get to a place where we feel like we know things, and then God shakes it all up, and says....Oh really?? haha

Yeah that's totally where I am. I mean I haven't thought that I knew it all, but I guess I felt knowledgeable about God and the things of God. Right after my miscarriage in april, my mom lost her  new husband to a massive heart attack(new husband like 3 months new). Then we bought a house, and there has been one thing after another go wrong with it, which has been a financial stain. All the while, my dad gets a bad report about his leukemia and has to begin taking chemo, and is out of work. I am so thankful for all that God has blessed me with, and I know in all the chaos and tragedies in life, that He is in control. But wow!! The crazy thing is, I trust him more now than ever. I have seen His faithfulness time and time again, in our finances, in our health, in our families....and on and on....

I do not understand why when it rains it pours, but I think it has something to do with character. I know that God has the answer to every trial I am faced with, and I know that it is not His will for me and my family to face so many of these things. 

I have to be honest, through these last months, there has been many days that I do not want to talk to God, I have been sad, and hurt, and confused. But what I have seen is that when I do not  commune with my Father, my heart hurts even more. I am His, I am bought with a price. He is the only reason I CAN face another day, so without Him, it makes no sense. 

I trust Him, I love Him, I serve Him. And that is what matters in the end. Nothing else. It is not about me, it is ALL about Him.  

I thought I knew this a few months ago, but I tell you, I have never known it like I do today. 

I trust You, I love You, I serve You. Make this who, and what I am Lord.